I'm becoming cynical.
Oh and wouldn't you know it, just as I'm about to declare myself a misanthrope the postman comes and brings me not one but two Christmas packages. (One was so late that he said my aunt could get her money back.) Well, people still suck but, heart softened, I will amend my opinion somewhat.
So, here's what I've noticed that is bringing me down a little. People like strength and tend to attack or at least avoid weakness. I'm not excluding myself here, I hate to admit, and if you are excluding yourself as you read, just think about the people you like. Aren't you attracted to confidence (real confidence, not covering up bravado,) as opposed to social weaklings with no social skills? And if you are kind to those broken winged birds, (I am,) wouldn't you still rather be seen with the more normal people that you know? (I would.) Then there's greed. I've been thunderstruck in these last four years by what lengths people will go to because they are greedy. I had never given it much thought as an evil before I'd seen it result in murder and torture. Oh and there's more, of course there are really awful people who do horrible things, but they have the comfort of seeming like an anomaly. The hen pecking [you know, how hens peck out the eyes of weaker birds] I've finally woken up to seems to be ubiquitous.
I've had such faith in humans and have been such a champion of them. Now I'm turning into an old Mark Twain. Alright, so I promised I would amend this cynicism somewhat and here it is. While I think all the above is true, it is also true that humans can choose to be kind and good and that many have and do. The Dali Lama thinks that people's core nature is compassion. I will give us this: it feels good to be compassionate and kind, therefore it must be in our structure somehow. So... I will not abandon my life's work of making life better and happier for humans. (Aren't you relieved?) But, I will continue my practice of appreciation, which makes me notice what people are really like here and now, and I will be wary of the humans, revealing my vulnerabilities cautiously, because many of them can only be trusted so far. Stupid humans.
Addendum:
Here are more examples of people's tendency to attack (in one way or another) weaker people. (For the cynic in your life.) The first example is well known: most kids will be mean to the weakest (bodily, mentally, emotionally) kid. "Kids can be cruel."
Then there's the "blame the victim" mentality that so often accompanies crime, especially rape. This tendency usually has to be educated out of people. It's a protective psychological reaction based on fear. Here's the psychological logic: a person hears about a horrific crime and is terrified it could happen to them (or someone they love.) So, somewhere in their mind they say, "This never would have happened if the victim didn't do such and such. I never do such and such, therefore, this couldn't happen to me."
The last time I saw this happen was in Utah when Elizabeth Smart got kidnapped for months. People who would never blame a rape victim were saying, "She went with him because she was trained to be obedient. That would never happen to a street smart kid who hadn't been raised in a church where she was trained to be obedient." Well, if it helps you sleep better at night... The truth, of course, is that strong grown men trained to resist torture are still subject to the Stockholm syndrome. It's more the sharpness of the knife than the toughness of the hand that determines the depth of the cut, but that makes the world a kind of scary place. Maybe I can forgive humans for their stupid cruelty after all.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Monday, January 03, 2005
Cleanse, Day 9
Wow, I can't believe its day 9 of the cleanse! I called my mom the other day and she said she was sticking to the cleanse, but she was gaining weight because she was eating a lot of cheese. "Cheese!" I exclaimed, betrayed, "but we aren't eating any dairy!!" She hadn't noticed that part. We agreed that we could eat yogurt. Then she had the nerve to ask me if she could eat a brownie. "No!" I said, "you can not eat a brownie!" Then I relented and said of course she could eat whatever she wanted to. However, I gave her the advice I saw over on Laura's weight loss blog, and reminded her that if she asked, her husband would probably make brownies again.
So, what about me? I'm sticking to my cleanse, but am still having trouble eating as many veggies as I would like. I actually like vegetables, but am some what at a loss about what to do with them. I'd like a wok so I could eat [I meant to type "make" ha, Freudian slip! I really just want to EAT homemade stir fry!] homemade stir fry. This morning I came up with an innovative and yummy solution to my no milk and no soy rule (no soy- I'll explain later.) I used coconut milk in my oatmeal, slices of apples and cinnamon. It was really good. Truly, I want to enjoy eating and have that be a pleasure in my life instead of a utilitarian function.
Exercise: Last Thursday I did my new old Firm video, "Total Body - Time Crunch Workout." Its only 45 minutes long with simple and hokey and EFFECTIVE exercises. It's so much easier for me to get myself to work out with weights than to go running, because I know working out with weights is going to show. When I first started working out with weights, (I used "I want those buns!") I lost 2 inches off my butt in 3 workouts and I'm not exaggerating. My sister-friend told me, "I love your butt!" It still rings in my ear to this day, although the butt she loved is hidden and weak right now. I will raise my rear again! :)
Today I'm going to go try, for the first time ever, the Fitprime video "Strong Bear." Its with Tracey Long and I can tell its going to be good and tough. I'll let you know.
Oops! What I haven't been doing: the P and B shakes. (I bet my mom hasn't either!) I'll get on that.
Weight loss: My scale has just (unfortunately, serendipitiously?) died. It's ok though. From being quite in shape and trim to quite out of shape and plump, I have gained 3 to 5 pounds. That's why I didn't notice how out of shape I had gotten for awhile. So, I'll go by the fit of my jeans and the jib of my... something. (I just wanted to say, "jib.")
Good Luck in your fitness goals!
So, what about me? I'm sticking to my cleanse, but am still having trouble eating as many veggies as I would like. I actually like vegetables, but am some what at a loss about what to do with them. I'd like a wok so I could eat [I meant to type "make" ha, Freudian slip! I really just want to EAT homemade stir fry!] homemade stir fry. This morning I came up with an innovative and yummy solution to my no milk and no soy rule (no soy- I'll explain later.) I used coconut milk in my oatmeal, slices of apples and cinnamon. It was really good. Truly, I want to enjoy eating and have that be a pleasure in my life instead of a utilitarian function.
Exercise: Last Thursday I did my new old Firm video, "Total Body - Time Crunch Workout." Its only 45 minutes long with simple and hokey and EFFECTIVE exercises. It's so much easier for me to get myself to work out with weights than to go running, because I know working out with weights is going to show. When I first started working out with weights, (I used "I want those buns!") I lost 2 inches off my butt in 3 workouts and I'm not exaggerating. My sister-friend told me, "I love your butt!" It still rings in my ear to this day, although the butt she loved is hidden and weak right now. I will raise my rear again! :)
Today I'm going to go try, for the first time ever, the Fitprime video "Strong Bear." Its with Tracey Long and I can tell its going to be good and tough. I'll let you know.
Oops! What I haven't been doing: the P and B shakes. (I bet my mom hasn't either!) I'll get on that.
Weight loss: My scale has just (unfortunately, serendipitiously?) died. It's ok though. From being quite in shape and trim to quite out of shape and plump, I have gained 3 to 5 pounds. That's why I didn't notice how out of shape I had gotten for awhile. So, I'll go by the fit of my jeans and the jib of my... something. (I just wanted to say, "jib.")
Good Luck in your fitness goals!
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Blog of the Day: Greedy Girl
Though I suspect she may be evil and possibly, shudder, Republican, I have been going from her blog to links she recomends and back to her blog for well over an hour. Also, I think I may finally understand RSS feeds enough to try it out. For these reasons, and for the greedy girl inside of me, Kari Sullivan's Greedy Girl is my Blog of the Day.
ps: Not literally evil.
ps: Not literally evil.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year! It’s the traditional time of year for deciding what you want to accomplish in the coming year. Here are two books which will help you do that. Really.
The first is The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play by Neil Fiore. If you procrastinate and want to stop, buy this book. If my testimonial doesn’t convince you, go to Amazon and read the rave reviews there.
Oy, have I ever had a problem with procrastination. You have no idea. What I did last semester was tell everyone that I couldn’t go out, I had homework to do and then I’d intermingle doing homework with trying to make myself do homework, missing out on fun. I even managed to drag an assignment well out into the summer- it was humiliating.
Before this semester, I read Neil Fiore’s book, (and I’m going to read it again,) and the main thing I remembered was to work in half hour increments and plan something fun to do each day. It sounds like a small change, but it dramatically increased the quality of my life. The first thing I noticed was how much work I could get done in a half hour. It was astonishing. I also noticed how hard it was for me to quit at the end of the half hour and take a break. It made me want to get back to what I was doing. My days felt more balanced. My semester was more enjoyable, I went dancing a lot more and I got more done. It was also interesting to come face to face with a desire for perfection that I knew was there from side-effects, although it wasn’t very conscious. One time I made myself turn a very imperfect paper in, one that would be on the internet for all my classmates to see, and go to my regularly scheduled fun activity. It was so hard to send that in. I felt embarrassed but just took a deep breath and tried to take a “let the chips fall where they may” attitude. Interestingly enough, my teacher gave me an A and said it was a good, well thought out paper. What?! I can have fun and still get good grades. It is like unto a miracle. Fiore mentions a study about students working on their thesis. The ones who did the best job the most quickly, worked on it the least hours and had the most fun. A nifty paradox, try it out yourself if you find yourself saying no to something fun so you can stay home and organize your pictures. It really works and its very freeing.
Next book: Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity
by David Allen. While the hallmark of Fiore's book is warm discernment, the hallmark of this book is clear thinking. This is the clearest thinking I have ever read about organizing incoming paper and to-do items in all my live long days. One thing he says that sticks in my mind is that you can’t manage time, but you can manage the tasks you do in time. I am still working on the seamless implementation of his ideas. I can’t wholeheartedly recommend the Getting Things Done Outlook add-in, but I can wholeheartedly recommend this book. The methods in this book helped me take the GRE, apply to grad school, and move me and my possessions in a few short months.
More tips from Neil Fiore. Notice how there are some similarities between his tips and this old post of mine? I love it when famous people have the same ideas as me (or the other way around.) I feel so smart.
Wishing you the ability to thouroughly enjoy your new year,
Braidwood
The first is The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play by Neil Fiore. If you procrastinate and want to stop, buy this book. If my testimonial doesn’t convince you, go to Amazon and read the rave reviews there.
Oy, have I ever had a problem with procrastination. You have no idea. What I did last semester was tell everyone that I couldn’t go out, I had homework to do and then I’d intermingle doing homework with trying to make myself do homework, missing out on fun. I even managed to drag an assignment well out into the summer- it was humiliating.
Before this semester, I read Neil Fiore’s book, (and I’m going to read it again,) and the main thing I remembered was to work in half hour increments and plan something fun to do each day. It sounds like a small change, but it dramatically increased the quality of my life. The first thing I noticed was how much work I could get done in a half hour. It was astonishing. I also noticed how hard it was for me to quit at the end of the half hour and take a break. It made me want to get back to what I was doing. My days felt more balanced. My semester was more enjoyable, I went dancing a lot more and I got more done. It was also interesting to come face to face with a desire for perfection that I knew was there from side-effects, although it wasn’t very conscious. One time I made myself turn a very imperfect paper in, one that would be on the internet for all my classmates to see, and go to my regularly scheduled fun activity. It was so hard to send that in. I felt embarrassed but just took a deep breath and tried to take a “let the chips fall where they may” attitude. Interestingly enough, my teacher gave me an A and said it was a good, well thought out paper. What?! I can have fun and still get good grades. It is like unto a miracle. Fiore mentions a study about students working on their thesis. The ones who did the best job the most quickly, worked on it the least hours and had the most fun. A nifty paradox, try it out yourself if you find yourself saying no to something fun so you can stay home and organize your pictures. It really works and its very freeing.
Next book: Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity
by David Allen. While the hallmark of Fiore's book is warm discernment, the hallmark of this book is clear thinking. This is the clearest thinking I have ever read about organizing incoming paper and to-do items in all my live long days. One thing he says that sticks in my mind is that you can’t manage time, but you can manage the tasks you do in time. I am still working on the seamless implementation of his ideas. I can’t wholeheartedly recommend the Getting Things Done Outlook add-in, but I can wholeheartedly recommend this book. The methods in this book helped me take the GRE, apply to grad school, and move me and my possessions in a few short months.
More tips from Neil Fiore. Notice how there are some similarities between his tips and this old post of mine? I love it when famous people have the same ideas as me (or the other way around.) I feel so smart.
Wishing you the ability to thouroughly enjoy your new year,
Braidwood
Site Statistics and "What about increasing traffic?"
This site has been up for two months and 10 days. The average unique visitors per day for the months were:
October - 7,
November - 15,
December - 8.
My goal: I'd like to have 50 unique visitors per day. The only problem with improving traffic is that it could become a full time job and it shifts the enjoyment factor from being about writing, drawing, singing to being about hits. Hmmm.. very puzzling. Nevertheless, I've been looking for ways to improve traffic and have once again come across Blogexplosion, a service where you search other people's blogs in exchange for them searching your blog, and once again have decided not to join. Dave Pollard at How to Save the World has some tips I might use. Although, like other tips I've read about, some of his tips have me asking myself, "What is the point of this again?"
But still I search, and here is something from Greedy Girl about adding your RSS feed to Yahoo. I wish I understood what an RSS feed is.
October - 7,
November - 15,
December - 8.
My goal: I'd like to have 50 unique visitors per day. The only problem with improving traffic is that it could become a full time job and it shifts the enjoyment factor from being about writing, drawing, singing to being about hits. Hmmm.. very puzzling. Nevertheless, I've been looking for ways to improve traffic and have once again come across Blogexplosion, a service where you search other people's blogs in exchange for them searching your blog, and once again have decided not to join. Dave Pollard at How to Save the World has some tips I might use. Although, like other tips I've read about, some of his tips have me asking myself, "What is the point of this again?"
But still I search, and here is something from Greedy Girl about adding your RSS feed to Yahoo. I wish I understood what an RSS feed is.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
