Cleanse, Day 1

(This is the sort of topic that makes me wish that this blog was completely anonymous. To all those who know me, sorry if this grosses you out! Just skip these entries!)

My mom is good for many things. One thing that she will do with me, that is hard to find, is weird diets. We have eaten strange conncoctions, drunk homemade herbal teas and fasted for days together. So, when I got a yen to do a cleanse I called her. We just spoke and to give you an idea of what a rare commoditiy she is in a dieting partner, I will relay this short snippet of our conversation. Me: "Ok, so it will be a pretty simple cleanse, and the only other thing is, I was thinking that at the beginning and the end of our cleanse we could do a colonic." Her: "Oh, that sounds nice."

I've done very odd cleanses that involved precise timing and rare ingredients, but this is our simple homemade version. We are going to do a three week long cleanse, cutting out beef, pork, flour, dairy, sugar and trans fats. We can eat any vegis, fruits, poultry and seafood that we want. (Crap, I just realized that no dairy means no butter.) We are going to add two "P and B shakes" daily; that is one Tablespoon of liquid bentonite and one teaspoon of psyllium husks. We're going to do one colonic in the begining and one at the end. (I've never done one before, I'll let you know how it goes.) At the end of our cleanse we will only have two days of traditional cleanse weirdness when we do a liquid fast and drink a strange, tightly-timed concoction meant to promote liver cleansing.

Hoped for benefits: Mostly I just feel in need of a general spring cleaning. During the last part of Fall semester I was eating a lot of frozen dinners and canned food. Blech! I want my skin to clear up, I want to lose weight and I want some break in my routine to help me get into healthier eating and exercise habits. I'm blogging it to keep me motivated. Wish me luck!