Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Thanksgiving poem

My thankfulness is a circle of thanks

With outer edges extending

My blue skies touch

Another’s pain

My bed of flowers

Touches the same earth

They huddle near

In terror

As bombs drop

And lives change

And families

And fragile bodies

Are torn apart.

Without our help, life itself, can part us


Strands pulled and wearing at every corner

Do we need to add to the fray?

I’m thankful for peace and love

And gentle kindness

Woven by us in the small particular moments of our own small universes.

May we see through someone else’s eyes

On this Thanksgiving Day.



This is a work in progress. What do you think?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Braidwood,

Good poem, good message. I was toying with it a bit to see if I could kick it up a notch, and I seemed to have the most success with a combination of title changing and bringing focus to a contrast of two families: the fat and sassy turkey-eating cranberry-saucin' potoato-mashing peeps and those huddling under what remains of a table as a bomb explodes outside, sending glass spewing into the small kitchen.

I really liked the parts "As bombs drop ... Are torn apart" and "May we see through someone else's eyes / On this Thanksgiving Day". I really think these could be transplanted smoothly into a more specific contrast.

Some titles I tried to work with were CRANBERRY BOMB, TURKEY DAY PRAYER, and GIFT OF THANKSBOMBING.

I'm no pro, just a casual reader, but I thought I'd share my thoughts. Here's to good internet poetry written by real people. :-)

Joe Baldinux