My thankfulness is a circle of thanks
With outer edges extending
My blue skies touch
Another’s pain
My bed of flowers
Touches the same earth
They huddle near
In terror
As bombs drop
And lives change
And families
And fragile bodies
Are torn apart.
Without our help, life itself, can part us
Ripping
Strands pulled and wearing at every corner
Do we need to add to the fray?
I’m thankful for peace and love
And gentle kindness
Woven by us in the small particular moments of our own small universes.
May we see through someone else’s eyes
On this Thanksgiving Day.
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This is a work in progress. What do you think?
1 comment:
Hi Braidwood,
Good poem, good message. I was toying with it a bit to see if I could kick it up a notch, and I seemed to have the most success with a combination of title changing and bringing focus to a contrast of two families: the fat and sassy turkey-eating cranberry-saucin' potoato-mashing peeps and those huddling under what remains of a table as a bomb explodes outside, sending glass spewing into the small kitchen.
I really liked the parts "As bombs drop ... Are torn apart" and "May we see through someone else's eyes / On this Thanksgiving Day". I really think these could be transplanted smoothly into a more specific contrast.
Some titles I tried to work with were CRANBERRY BOMB, TURKEY DAY PRAYER, and GIFT OF THANKSBOMBING.
I'm no pro, just a casual reader, but I thought I'd share my thoughts. Here's to good internet poetry written by real people. :-)
Joe Baldinux
http://oregonstate.edu/~baldinoj/
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