Friday, December 31, 2004
Inside of card: “It’s not because life is a ceaseless, nightmarish hell from which none ever escape is it?”
Makes me laugh every time. If you think that's funny, you’ll probably like Something Awful too. I reccomend the anti-drug messages.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Today for exercise I ran up and down an animal park. It counts! I was rained on!
Some things are hard to explain until you get the feel of them, and that is one pattern that I have the feel of. So, I was thinking, oh yeah, appreciate your kids just as they are- that is right on, that is true. You can enjoy your kids just as they are with no worries, they will change and grow all on their own. Then I thought, you know I could apply this idea of just appreciating and enjoying to everything I can’t control- PEOPLE! So, that makes it simple. Then I thought of applying the idea to myself, it felt heretical. I looked up “appreciating myself” on the internet and had the interesting sensation of being naughty. I actually glanced over my shoulder as I sat at the computer.
I’ve decided to take a bold, adventurous risk and appreciate myself just as I am now. I've also been noticing and recounting to myself what I am grateful for during my day.
Benefits so far: I’ve been appreciating people for who they are and, ironically, seeing more realistically who they are in the present moment. I’ve found that to have gratitude, I have to notice, and that is very grounding.
Some appreciating myself and gratitude sites: Self appreciation as character training, self-esteem game , gratitude as mindfulness.
The template changes take me a long time because I don't know this code by heart. I look through it, make a few changes and then test it out to see if it did what I thought it would do. I really like this new template I'm using, although there are still some changes I want to make. I'm using a basic blogger template and I took out the picture of the light house and white lines which framed the blog. I wanted a simple template, yet I really love the sweet and pretty decorative touch of the dividers between the posts.
The next thing I'd like to do is to move my sidebar up to be even with the main posts, now that the building is out of the way.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
I'm sure there is a truth to be found in the mix of different reports from established and alternative medical ideas. I've found several alternative therapies that do work, although I often doubt the reason they work is the reported one.
Bowel movements- it's not a pretty topic, but it's at the crux of the cleanse issue. I have to side with the alternative practitioners on this one. The medical community says there is a range of normal and that it's ok to have a bowel movement every couple days. Eww! The alternative practioners say that a very healthy person should have a bowel movement after each meal. I agree that that is a sign of health. MD's seem like they are constantly trying to calm an anxious and hypochondriacal public, “Don’t worry, that doesn’t signal a disease!” Alternative medical people are like the Cassandras of our day. “Mucoid plauque will be your downfall. Cleanse yourself!”
Since reading Laura’s post and email to me, I’ve been thinking about why I like to do cleanses. I know that a balanced diet is healthy and that weird concoctions are not required. But I like weird concoctions! If I had lived in olden times I would probably have been a witch, stirring up bits of this and that and seeing what they do. It’s funny, because I love science and the scientific method, maybe weird concoctions seem like a more earthy and less controlled science experiment. I understand the alternative practitioners fascination with little bits of this and little bits of that. I don’t know what it means about our personalities! The truth is, part of the reason I want to do a colonic is, I want to see what comes out of the tube!
I used to take very long baths as a child and I would gather up different items from the kitchen and bathroom cupboard and pour them into the bathtub with the water to see what it would do to me. I was right in the middle of my own experiment and I thought it was great fun, like a little scientific witch.
Last night I rebelled and ate fries, onion rings and drank hot chocolate. It was at Denny’s, which is the pit of trans fat. Today I ate only cleanse approved foods, but didn’t eat much because I haven’t gone grocery shopping since cleaning out my fridge.
Exercise: The Firm, tough tape 2, 8lb squats.
Good things: My new firm exercise tape came in the mail! Yay! Also my 20 questions about fitness video tape came and I folded my Christmas letters while I watched it. It was motivating, but didn’t pack the punch it did the first time I saw it.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
My mom is good for many things. One thing that she will do with me, that is hard to find, is weird diets. We have eaten strange conncoctions, drunk homemade herbal teas and fasted for days together. So, when I got a yen to do a cleanse I called her. We just spoke and to give you an idea of what a rare commoditiy she is in a dieting partner, I will relay this short snippet of our conversation. Me: "Ok, so it will be a pretty simple cleanse, and the only other thing is, I was thinking that at the beginning and the end of our cleanse we could do a colonic." Her: "Oh, that sounds nice."
I've done very odd cleanses that involved precise timing and rare ingredients, but this is our simple homemade version. We are going to do a three week long cleanse, cutting out beef, pork, flour, dairy, sugar and trans fats. We can eat any vegis, fruits, poultry and seafood that we want. (Crap, I just realized that no dairy means no butter.) We are going to add two "P and B shakes" daily; that is one Tablespoon of liquid bentonite and one teaspoon of psyllium husks. We're going to do one colonic in the begining and one at the end. (I've never done one before, I'll let you know how it goes.) At the end of our cleanse we will only have two days of traditional cleanse weirdness when we do a liquid fast and drink a strange, tightly-timed concoction meant to promote liver cleansing.
Hoped for benefits: Mostly I just feel in need of a general spring cleaning. During the last part of Fall semester I was eating a lot of frozen dinners and canned food. Blech! I want my skin to clear up, I want to lose weight and I want some break in my routine to help me get into healthier eating and exercise habits. I'm blogging it to keep me motivated. Wish me luck!
I’ve also discovered that these people finder services are kind of creepy. I found myself- the only person listed with my name, thank you very much. For only $30 I can find out any property I own, all the places I’ve lived, any marriages and divorces I’ve had and my credit report. The truly shudder inducing moment was when I saw that for a small additional fee, I can buy SATELITE SURVEYLANCE photos of people. What the hell!?!
Friday, December 24, 2004
While I’m at it: here is the website of my favorite eyebrow people. They have pictures of celebrity eyebrows! Check out their book here.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Of course, I had brief fantasies of inventing them and becoming rich and appearing on Oprah. “Well, I just thought of putting weights on my eye-lids, I put it on the internet and here I am! Can you believe when I started out I was just cutting up these little eyelid weights in my little one room apt?” ( I don’t really live in a one room apt, but that makes it more dramatic.) So, just now I looked up eye-lid weights and what do you know, someone already invented them! They use them in the treatment of bell palsy. Oddly, they are available by prescription only. What on earth do they think people are going to do with eyelid weights? So, I might have to rig up some after all or order them from Canada! I wonder if they will work out my eyelid muscles like I think they will.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
I’m taking the day off I decided. And I’ve come up with some of my own answers to my previous questions. (I still welcome yours!) I’ve been surfing the internet and I just remembered how valuable daily practices are for me. OH yeah! How is it that I know this stuff for years and then forget it?
So, daily practices…what works for me is meditation, reading something uplifting (I have been reading a great book of poems called The Rag and Bone Shop,) stretching (it’s amazing how relaxing my body deeply leads to a habit of general relaxation throughout my day,) and journaling. Also, having one rest day a week is a religious tradition that really works for me and adds balance into my life.
This semester it hasn’t been possible for Sunday to be my holy day, (that’s why I’m taking days off when I can find them – or just when I can’t take it anymore – like today.) Next semester I’m going to plan so that my Sundays can be days of rest again. A little rest and time to just be each day, a day of rest each week, and a vacation or two or three each year. Now, that’s balance. J
Ok…. Sigh… it’s all coming back to me now. No wonder I’ve been dissatisfied. I haven’t been resting, which means I’ve been waiting for things to be over so I can rest. Alright, I remember how this all goes now…
Today I did a breathing exercise and a guided loving kindness meditation.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Title: (women seeking men) I am bummed (this is actually just a rant - sorry)
I'm not sure why this is such a down time for me, but I've noticed that whenever I focus on finding romance I get down, because it's just not one of those goals I can work towards and then predictably achieve. Sheesh. This is a tough one. I need to put myself in social situations so that I can meet my honey, but I can't make it one of my goals that I focus on or it's just depressing! hmmm.
Alright, I'm giving up on dating for awhile. I feel so much better when I do. Here is a site I just inadvertently surfed to which prompted this post: http://www.divorceinfo.com/divorcestinks.htm. I've never been divorced, and REALLY hope never to get divorced- breaking up hurts about as much as I want to hurt. Oy. So, the site reminded me that it's good to be picky.
Like I said, this is just a rant, so don't write. (If you send truly encouraging words, I will silently thank you.) I don't think I'll be writing or looking on
craigslist for awhile. Good look to all ya'll.
People wrote back, here a couple excerpts:
I am so hearing what you are saying here...I have never tried to find the love of my heart on the net and then when I start looking it seems to always go nowhere.....
getting out to meet the one, yes, this is it..I have adjusted my Feng Shui to help, so we will just have to wait and see. but like you said when you say to yourself, I am not looking to meet you now I so do not have time and or the desire to feel the lonely and empty parts of me. so I stay busy telling myself that it will all happen in time, when the time is right. …”
“good luck to u :) yeah u might have what i have seasonal disorder :) keep-kickin-it-baby :) 420/24/7/365 PEACE”
Thanks nice craigslist people! Just as a side note: Have you noticed how much more confessional my posts have gotten! This must be a side-effect of writing blogs. I now have the audience I secretly imagined as I wrote in my actual paper journal. Let me know if I’m going overboard and just being too outrageously or, worse, annoyingly revealing. I will post art again! I’m just at the tail end of the semester and haven’t created any art lately. I am dreaming of a fresh drawing pad for Christmas and then I will draw in long meetings and on nice days in the park and will post it here and my page will once again (once again?) be full of beautiful and simple art, unhampered by words.
This is the poem for the "Dropping Keys" painting. – Mollie
original painting by Mollie Kellogg
inspired by a poem by Hafiz
The small man
Builds cages for everyone
While the sage,
Who has to duck his head while the moon is low,
Keeps dropping keys all night long
translation by Daniel Ladinsk
Check out Mollie’s painting at: http://www.molliekellogg.com/images/08adropkeys.jpg
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Friday, December 10, 2004
“We often think of social involvement as noble but impractical. Yet it can serve enlightened self-interest and the interests of others simultaneously, giving us a sense of connection and purpose nearly impossible to find in private life. "It takes energy to act," says Pete. "But it's more draining to bury your anger, convince yourself you're powerless, and swallow whatever's handed to you."
How then shall we characterize those who participate in our society as active citizens? They are persons of imperfect character, acting on the basis of imperfect knowledge, for causes that may be imperfect as well. That's a profile virtually any of us could match, given a willingness to live with ambiguity, occasional failure, and frustration. Imperfection may not be saintly, but wielding it in the service of justice is a virtue. Whoever we are, we can savor our imperfect journey of commitment. Learning as we go, we can discover how much our actions matter.”
Thursday, December 09, 2004
I made a list of 20 things I really like to do yesterday and asked my mom to send me her list. It was interesting to think about which activities I do that give me the most satisfaction. It was really fun to read my mom’s list. Here’s my 20 or so things I really like to do. What about you? (Tip: write as fast as you can without evaluating and do yours before you read mine!)
Did you write yours yet?
Ok, Here are mine:
- Playing with friends
- Eating good food
- Playing with animals
- Singing and playing the guitar for other people
- Creating a finished piece of art that I really like
- Having an exciting intellectual discussion
- Talking with someone and feeling a close connection
- Making people laugh
- Laughing really hard
- Making my home and garden space look really nice
- Choreographing a dance show
- Expressing my ideas really well
- Having someone play with my hair and otherwise love me
- Swimming in warm water
- River rafting
- Seeing somewhere new and beautiful
- Listening to good music
- Listening to sensible and uplifting ideas
- Learning something new that opens up possibilities for me
- Accomplishing a goal
- Knowing that I really helped someone and made a positive difference
I’d love to read your 20 things, if you want to share, leave a comment or a link to your 20 (or so)!
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Every now and then I get lost in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction. (“I’ll be happy when…”) I want to enjoy every moment that I can this Holiday season, but I find myself looking ahead more than being in the now.
So, I have a question for you. I’m sure there is a way to resolve what seems like a paradox for me. I am great at seeing, and eventually realizing possibilities. I think this gift has several components 1. I can see what could be 2. I can see what is currently missing 3. I can research and then evaluate and understand what resources etc need to be added to get from what is missing to what can be.
This is one of my main talents and figures into most things that I am good at. However, some of these skills seem to be opposite to what it takes to be happy in the moment. (I’m sure that that isn’t true, but right now I’m not seeing how it can all work together inside of me.) What seems opposite about being happy to me is 1. Seeing what is (Can you see what is and what can be at the same time, or do you have to flip back and forth. Hmmm…) 2. See what is currently right 3. Be grateful for what is currently right.
Of course, happiness is only one of my values and not necessarily my primary value. I get a lot of satisfaction from creating and improving things, so I’m not willing to give that up to be subjectively happy in the moment. And, I’m sure I don’t have to… so any ideas about how I can combine the skills of seeing into the future and enjoying the present? Before you answer, I want to be clear that I am happy every now and then. J I just want to learn the skill of really savoring and enjoying all the moments of my life.
Friday, December 03, 2004
By the way, I re-appreciated my family this Thanksgiving even as I shook my head in disbelief at their political views. Thanks for loving me even through our differences, little family. I love you, too.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
My thankfulness is a circle of thanks
With outer edges extending
My blue skies touch
My bed of flowers
Touches the same earth
They huddle near
As bombs drop
And lives change
And fragile bodies
Are torn apart.
Without our help, life itself, can part us
Strands pulled and wearing at every corner
Do we need to add to the fray?
I’m thankful for peace and love
And gentle kindness
Woven by us in the small particular moments of our own small universes.
May we see through someone else’s eyes
On this Thanksgiving Day.
This is a work in progress. What do you think?
I’ve kind of prided myself on being able to stay connected to the people in my family who have very different political ideas… but I need some advice. Usually, I try to listen and understand where people are coming from, but right now I feel so outraged about the torture and killing going on in Iraq that I don’t feel, morally, that I can stay silent. Also, I feel very strongly about the current political issues, so I have a hard time talking about it without getting intense. I also don’t want to have a contentious or tension filled Thanksgiving. I’m going to be at my aunt’s house who is far right politically.
I’d like to be able to say what I think, inform my family of what’s going on, yet keep it light and warm and stay connected…
Thanks for any help! I was just on the phone with my mom and she said, “What ever you do, don’t bring up politics.” Even that made me angry and I said that with what is happening in the world right now, I feel it would be immoral not toÂ speak up.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Warm day, blue sky, leaves red, my phone works all the way across the street, I listened to a great song while I was driving, hand out the window, and
See, that is why it is worth it to blog, even though the highest amount of unique visitors I've had has only been 35. Even though my posts often sound clumsy. Even though my site will probably never look as good as French Toast Girl's. Natalie wrote to me. :)
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Concerned Women for America are planning to protest the movie. I find this interesting since there are so many lascivious movies out. Why did they decide to protest the Kinsey report? It can’t be the sexuality shown, even though this movie was very graphic by my standards, there are much more sexually graphic movies. [The 82 year old woman next to me said she liked the pictures.] Is it the story? Are they protesting telling the true story of the people who studied human sexual behavior in America? Is it because they think he shouldn’t have done the study or because they are upset by what he found? Do they dislike his lifestyle and disagree with his views?
I highly disliked several aspects of his lifestyle and disagree with part of his philosophy about sex. Splitting sexual debate into two simplified camps; there are the prescribers and the describers. Kinsey was a describer. He falls into the camp of anything goes. This group prides itself on being open minded and sexually free. They avoid prescriptions at all costs saying that anything is alright as long as no one gets hurt. They won’t tell the truth about how sex affects them. I know many people who say sex can just be for pleasure, we are animals and it is only societal convention that makes sex emotional. Of course, we are animals, we are animals that bond through touch, and when sexual bonds are broken, it hurts. In the movie, Clara gets it right when she says, "Did you ever think that societal norms are there for a reason?"
The other group prescribes sexual behavior. They have a set idea of what is ok sexually and what isn’t ok. Of course, there is variety in the prescriptions. They don’t want to hear about the actual sexual behavior that people are engaged in and they are often hypocrites, spouting theory that their behavior doesn’t match up with. This group doesn’t want sex ed taught or condoms handed out because teenagers SHOULDN’T be having sex, ignoring the fact that they ARE.
I find either type of viewpoint equally repugnant for the exact same reason. Maybe it’s the scientist in me; I’m annoyed when people ignore reality for theory. I consider both groups to be publicly dishonest, even when they are honest people at home. This is often the trouble when people start getting off into theory, ignoring their own and other people's experiences. My anecdotal evidence of people I know who prescribe certain sexual behavior is that none of them live up to their ideals, me included. My personal experience of the people who say that anything goes sexually is that they are all, I mean ALL, affected emotionally by their sexual relationships, just like everyone else.
Why deny reality publicly? Maybe it is the adversarial way we debate issues in this country. Perhaps both sides fear that if they give a more nuanced view, the other side will use it as a weakness to promote their agenda. Boy, have people used Kinsey's research to promote agendas. The most disturbing agenda I found while researching the anti-Kinsey articles, is that a group of pedophiles have used the report to justify molesting children. It made my skin crawl just reading this article. Labeling something common or rare doesn’t take away how good or bad it may be for you. Even something common may be very unhealthy.
So, why do I still recommend the movie? Food is often equated with sex these days and I'll continue the analogy here to make my point. If you were in favor of a very particular nutritional plan, would you therefore be against finding out what people currently eat? What if the people who did the study had a different nutritional ideal in mind? Would you then be against the study? What if the people who did the accurate study ate very unhealthy meals? If the study was done well and accurately, to my mind it benefits anyone interested in nutrition to know what people are currently eating. From an organizational standpoint, you can’t change if you don’t know where you are starting from. If you are really for sexual reform, it benefits you to know what people are currently doing, so accurate sex studies will only be a benefit to you. The only agenda sex studies threaten is secrecy. (If you are a great big hypocrite, then that might be the way to go.)
Alfred Kinsey was of the non-prescription, only description camp. I think the movie accurately portrays that he got it wrong. And, I still think it’s a good movie. The movie may make you uncomfortable. Being honest with yourself while you watch it may make you even more uncomfortable.
Here's Paul Clinton's review of the movie. (His review has some spoilers.)
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Last week I worked.Today I play. Just sitting around in my pajamas exploring the blogosphere. Tommorrow… more work.
By the way, Thank you for all your “anonymous” input. For now I’ve decided to split my blog personality three ways: my “proffessional” blog, Braidwood –partly anonymous, and another TOTALLY SECRET blog, never to be revealed. My initial reason for posting anonymously, by the way, is because of my long standing wish to be “secretly famous.” You might be surprised, looking at my work, that I have a fear of becoming famous, but I do! I like being well know by my own community, but I hate the thought of giving up my traveling anonymity. I like blending in, if you can’t blend in you can never really get to know people. I would hate to be famous – oy. What with the stalkers and what not. On the other hand, I would like to have my songs and poems and art be scattered out broadly in the world. Thus, secretly famous. (I know, a fear likely never to be realized, but still.)
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Not this year at least. Here is what some crazy people are doing, including my friend Laura. They are writing an ENTIRE novel in 30 days, at least 50,000 words. wow. You say you have time to kill, speedy fingers and stories just waiting to flood out of you? Go to NaNoWriMo and join the throng. Hurry!
ps: I just went to Laura's site and she has written 2 more chapters in her very "page-turner" book. yay!
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Categories: My Life, Blog Talk
Thursday, November 11, 2004
My sorrow is like a deep blue stone.
I open my hands to set you free
The white bird of our love flies on.
I put the stone gently into my belly
And like a woman in her village, waiting for her lover
I carry water like I always did
Silently heavy inside.
But our love is a translucent bird in the sky
You will not return.
The sun is melting it already
It’s feathers fall like petals.
Someday when the warmth soaks through
The many layers of my skin
Through the winding tissue in muscles
Through my bones
And melts the stone
I will wake again.
Modified July 28, 2002
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Monday, November 08, 2004
Sunday, November 07, 2004
I sent a not too thinly veiled show of support for Kerry by emailing a Michael Moore article to my friends and family- in the guise of humor. My friend wrote back with a not too thinly veiled request. She said that we should stop criticising the current President and seek unity as a nation. Does that mean I need to shut up?
It's the holy grail of community to be able to be yourself and belong to a group, and I know its possible. Falling silent won't unite us, it will impoverish us. We need to hear each others stories to understand each other, to care about each other, to vote beyond our narrow self-interest.
Learning how to connect while allowing ourselves and others freedom of thought and expression is woo-ha, challenging. To meet this challenge in your personal life, I reccomend: The Dance of Connection by Harriet Lerner.
For our country and the world's well being, we need to hear a wide array of stories. Let's get the screaming pundits off the air and demand to see and hear a variety of people talking about their own lives and how the issues of the day have affected them. That's news, and that's what heals.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Oh, I just checked it out to get the address and there is a cartoon about bloggers. Check it out, maybe you will see yourself. I don't think she drew me... or, scary thought, she DID draw me!
(I'm going to try the trackback feature. This will be my first trackback ping.)
ps: Why have I been publishing my text in boring black?? Ahh well, you live, you learn. Such is the life of a young blogger.
2. Use firefox to look at my site. I just checked it out in internet explorer and it looks really bad.
3. Now that I'm part of a cool illustrators web ring, I also want to be part of a
quality poetry web ring
singer-songwriter web ring.
4. I have an idea, I need some money. Any idea how to get in touch with grant givers?
Emergency blog help: I just notice that the haloscan comments and trackback disapeared my old comments. AHHH!!! What do I do??
Friday, November 05, 2004
When I got home one of my cutest little eco-models sent me an uplifting note from Michael Moore. I laughed. (Check it out, you will laugh too!)
Then I decided to add Trackback to my blog! yay! Sorry about the ads on my track back!! I really hate ads. I was looking for an ad free trackback when I saw this article that talks about trackbacking being an aid to democracy. Yay Democracy!
I think Democracy is Love on a large scale. I can't remember if I read that in Bell Hooks or Carol Gilligan. ah well...
Categories: Democracy, Blog Talk, Links
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Have you survived the elections, just barely? Are you wondering what the future holds? Check out the only horoscopes worth their salt.
Meanwhile, maybe not for you listening enjoyment, but certainly for our silly pleasure, we have recorded Guest Artist, Red, along with Braidwood reading a sample of horoscopes with an Irish accent. (Oh that old bit!)
French Toast Girl I love how the site looks and the adorable illustrations, it gives me something to aspire to on both counts. Check out the peas in the pod! Oh, how cute.
Guild of Ghost Writers For anyone who has worked in a windowless cubicle-cell with arbitrary rules, the little cartoon you’ll find here is strangely moving. Scroll down to a really cute tribute to Elvis impersonators.
Pomegranates and Paper This art has my kind of colors – colors to swim in.
Frog and Toad’s Wild Ride It looks like a newbie, like me. I wish the pictures were bigger. Check it out to see more gorgeous, swimmable colors.
Chillies and Chocolate Very pretty pictures! (And a lame blogger template, like mine :)
Design Kitten Kind of simple and sweet.
My one complaint: Not everyone has the illustrated blog ring graphic on their site. Come on people! It’s not a ring if someone breaks the chain. For better surfing, until people fix this problem, go to the Illustrated Blog List to surf through the sites in the ring.
Categories: Blog Talk, Links
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
So are some other people! Check out the blog Pop and Politics for a funny take on moving out of the country.
Oh, and here's a guy that already moved. Read about his journey to becoming a Canadian resident here.
ps: I don't really want to move, I love my country. But come freakin' on, people!
I wish that I could magically switch people into another person's life, like in Friday the 13th. I imagine switching George Bush with a young Iraqi mother, for just a month...
I recently saw a real life switch, of sorts, related to this article. My friend went to Italy for a month this summer. This friend and I used to talk about our future. She wanted a big house, and was fine with driving everywhere she needed to go, and basically wanted the typical consumable American dream. I, on the other hand, being a true hedonist, wanted a small house, easily maintainable yard, a co-housing like community and wanted to live where I could walk everywhere I needed to go in my daily life. Well, she came back from Italy very homesick... for Italy, where she lived in a small villa, walked everywhere she needed to go, and the shopkeepers in the stores knew her by name after just a month.
See, I'm profoundly convinced, [even of the Bushites, although I can hardly say it this soon after the HUGE disappointment!] that people are mostly good and mostly smart. I think most people would definitely prefer the European dream, they just haven't experienced what it could be like.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
The moon is squashed.
I have sat in my car
To laugh with me, and play and maybe
Rub my feet.
An exhaustion has set in
That is deeper than the day,
I just now realized what it is...
It is the exhaustion of a long journey
With no end in sight.
A journey like my journey up
Mt Timpanogus, under a midnight moon
Where the scaling of the peak
Just another peak to climb.
And this journey, that I've been climbing since my childhood, is:
"Where will I find my love?" and even more,
"When will I find my home?"
How many of them
Have to be good?
Not this one, I guess.
Dolly Parton's my muse
Prolific country song-writer
A smart lady
In her overdone make-up
She gets the joke.
She told it!
And behind that
Is some beautiful music,
And a giant bra,
Flapping in the wind.
Now that's ridiculous
And though I've been spinning ideas,
I may have been wasting my time.
If you don't show soon.
This is when a cell phone would come in handy,
You are late
For our un-appointment.
My drop by.
In a year of knowing you,
You have never once dropped by,
That is what I tell myself nights that I leave your place angrily,
And drive home,
With a drive just long enough
To turn my hurt pain into anger into self-righteousness into resolve into
Thursday, October 28, 2004
I even want myself to do a few more blogs. Next in line: a blog where I put all the cool links I find. I used to walk the library aisles for hours, piling book on top of book about my latest fascination. Now I do the same thing in the virtual world, and I want to share it all with you.
Now that you know the new blog theme, what do you think would be a good name? A good template? Now taking suggestions.
Categories: Blog Talk
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
When it won’t all be all right.
But the waves are playing night games,
The white curve of the waves reach out to each other,
Grabbing hands just before they run,
Laughing, crashing, onto the shore.
They play over and over like children do.
The moon is nowhere, but somewhere, she’s there
Pulling at the water.
I have been alone,
But she used to follow me and nod to me
As we looked at each other, from the sky.
A girl is laughing as she spins
Under the lamplight in the park
“I am so happy right now!” she calls out.
I sigh wearily as I trudge back to the car
With another half-hearted, temporary lover.
Artemis’s virgin priestesses
Spin freely under the night sky
By the wild night waves.
I used to be one of them
Till I put down my bow
I’d always been looking for my lover, with my lonely child’s yearning.
A dedicated virgin goddess
With an Aphrodite heart
More ready than people would believe
To quit her wild, lonely ways
And rest in her lover’s warm arms.
Still, no man has caught me
They’ve all turned to stone
Or maybe just gone away.
And I know how to be alone
I’ve never had a home
Cradled only by the arms of a tree
And the wild night sky my only cover
Artemis tries to find a lover,
But at the end of this long, weary poem,
She still ends up
But now I have justified my recent obsession! I will use blogging to motivate me to produce art! I’m going to use the feedback theory of motivation for my benefit and use this blog as a place to post projects and art that no one else is demanding that I do, just to keep my creative juices alive. I don’t want my raisin drying in the sun.
While I want to keep this blog current and produce art now, I also want to share some of my old stuff. Which brings me to the actual topic of this post: I'll put the date the art was created in the title if it was created in the past.
*What do you think of the subtitle, “My refrigerator door: quirky art, quality poetry and music that might make me famous.” ?
Monday, October 25, 2004
Oct 22: 3 hits, 1 unique
Oct 23: 1 hit, 1 unique
Oct 24: 6 hits, 2 unique
Oct 25 by 1:46 pm: 9 hits, 4 unique
Wow, you wouldn't think so little feedback would make me happy! :) I'm climbing the charts, baby! Unique hits mean how many people have never come to the site before.
We're a small community.
To get a great, free visitor counter for your site, go to reinvigorate.net
Categories: Blog Talk
Friday, October 22, 2004
My refrigerator door gets political.
Visualize Kerry winning with some help from needlenose at: Â http://www.clowntech.com/win04/vote.htm
..........._|.K E R R Y..|.|.|___|""""""""""|…|[(<
............( + ).....( + ).....( + )( + )( + )( + )..\
(I don’t know who created this cool graphic, I saw it posted on the Kerry blog at http://www.johnkerry.com/index.html )