Monday, June 13, 2005

Moving Chaos


I'm in my new home and this is my frst time online since Friday! That's a long time for me. All is chaos and boxes and purple and lime green walls (soon to be soft gold!) My computer is not hooked up to the internet and so I'm using my roommates super faster computer. She uses Internet Explorer as a browser. Wow, I'm so sorry all IE users, my blog looks atrocious in this browser. I am still looking for a job with several helpful leads from friends. Thank you, friends!

The job hunting process, moving, and my previous hostile roommate have combined forces to awaken all my primal fears. Do all fears eventually find their source in the fear of death? I've been having such waves of fear. It's intense. I'm remembering to be gentle with myself during this transition time. I'm listening to a Tony Robbins tape about overcoming fear while I organize. While I walked around my new neighborhood exploring today, I thought that I need to do some serious meditation or something. A friend said that it's better not to think about death and the bad things that can happen, but I want to have my eyes completely open and feel at peace. Today I'm working on ordering the small chaos in my room. I think when I have soft gold walls, everything will be ok. :) Good luck to all ya'll today.



Laura Moncur said...

I have to use IE at work and I haven't noticed any major problems. It's not like it crashes or anything.

Andrea said...

Be strong! I know what you mean. When everything is in transition, and even one relationship isn't all you hoped for, it's easy to feel out at sea. Stick to your anchors. Hope the rest goes more smoothly. Need painting help?

Braidwood said...

Thanks, Andrea! you're so sweet. Your image of being out at sea is so appropriate to how I am feeling. I found my oars now.