Thursday, June 09, 2005

The Value of Inner Work

I have become convinced that doing inner work is one of the most effective ways to get results in my outer life.

For example, I used to try and figure out how to make friends. I needed friend-making skills and I watched what good friend-makers did. Skills are important to gain, but there are so many intricate signals that people send out, that it is hard to replicate them consciously. Now, I just naturally attract smart, kind, fun people. (“Amen!" Say all my friends. :) And it is a result of doing inner work that had nothing to do with the goal of attracting good friends. In fact, it was strange when I noticed that I didn't have to try and get that kind of person to like me anymore. That's just who seemed to be around me. It was like the actual outer world had shifted. Unlike some people, I don'’t attribute this to any mystical forces. It is simply that we have fairly small orbits and what seems to be our whole world is just made up of the daily people, places, and activities we experience. Because of what we think, believe, and feel, we make certain decisions and socially, give off many subtle signals. This determines what is in our daily world and so this can make the whole universe seem to shift.

Next post: My inner work plan for the Summer.

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Laura Moncur said...

What a good idea! I hadn't heard it put so succintly before. I am going to create an entire category at Starling Fitness devoted to Inner Workouts.

You are a freakin' genius!

Braidwood said...

Thanks, Laura! (Speaking of good friends) I appreciate the postitive feedback! I'm looking forward to your posts on the topic.

jb said...

Thanks for sharing your experience. That's something that a lot more people need to take into account when interacting with one another. And like you say: really nice people are attracted to other really nice people, not so-so people wearing "nice" masks. ^_^

Andrea said...

I agree. This phenomenon supports one of my main beefs with pop relationship books--they tend to prescribe outward behaviors (like, "play hard to get" or "project confidence") that may or may not be effective, while ignoring the inner work that gives them any operational power they possess in real life. We all know that confidence and respecting your own time are characteristics built up incrementally and for inner reasons, not masks you don to snag a new guy (or girl). And of course, when you're doing these things is when the real treasures of friendship or romance just seem to materialize.

PSC said...

It is such a pleasure to be your friend. Your inner appreciation of yourself also reflected your appreication of those around you.

Do you want to guess who I am? :-D

Braidwood said...


I am guessing that you are tall and thin with long dark hair. Smart and witty and one of my classmates. Am I right?! Thank you. :)